Susie told us her story about getting help from HOS’ Making Moves service for her son, Sean.
My son, Sean, is in his mid-20s. When we contacted Housing Options Scotland, we were looking for a way for him to live independently. Sean has learning difficulties so would need some help to live independently but we knew with the right home he’d be fine.
By the time we spoke to Jil we thought he’d never get moved. We had had a big disappointment about a year earlier where he was being considered for a flat but it went to someone else. We felt let down and nobody could give us any answers. We felt we were totally on our own. Nobody was coming forward to help.
We were in a situation that many parents face. We wanted our son to be able to move out of home and find some independence. We also wanted it to happen when we were at an age that we could help with this big change. We knew he couldn’t live with us forever and we wanted to see him settled somewhere at a time that was right for him.
We were in contact with a social worker who wanted us to look into shared living accommodation for Sean but we knew this wouldn’t be right for him. Sean has coeliac disease which means checking ingredients and making sure food is prepared correctly is very important. We couldn’t see how this would work well in a shared living arrangement. There were discussions about this being the best option as he currently lives with his family, and he would still have a family environment but we knew moving from a family environment was the step Sean needed to take to be independent and we knew he could do it.
We were open to anywhere within the city we live in but initial conversations, as we registered with housing associations, made it sound like an offer would be very unlikely.
Luckily, a friend who knew of HOS told us to get in touch. She knew about the charity and what they do. We felt for the first time someone listened to what we were looking for. We had a planning meeting. There were two people from HOS there and we came along with Sean. We came out of that meeting feeling more positive, we didn’t need to just wait. Finally, we could see that there were options that we hadn’t considered. HOS knew about all that was available. When we’d been speaking to different housing providers, they might have the housing, but they couldn’t give a full range of options to help us see what we could do.
We considered trying to buy somewhere but in the long run we felt it wouldn’t offer the full independence that we wanted for our son. But we did find a home for Sean and I think we ended up in the best situation. It’s a housing association rented flat. The reason we chose it is because it was exactly what we were looking for. It is core and cluster housing so there is support in the building but it’s the right level of support, not too much and not too little. Sean has his own flat. He doesn’t need to share with anyone but there’s 24-hour support if he needs to speak to someone. The maintenance is done by the housing association. The flat itself is fantastic really, I can’t believe it. The area is maybe not the best and that was a bit of a compromise but the people in the building and the flat itself are great.
Sean loves it. He liked the flat straight away and now it’s been decorated and furnished he’s very happy there. We had to build up to him being there alone and he still likes to come over to us at the weekend but when he goes back again, he just loves it. The housing association are excellent too.
If you are in the situation that we were in, you should go through all your options. Seek out anyone that can give you help. We couldn’t find anyone that would see us through the whole process until we found HOS. You need to get a move on, don’t leave it too late! It will just become harder for them and for you. We worried how he would manage because as a parent you think – how will anyone support my child as well as me – but it can be done, just in a different way. We’re discovering now he can do much more by himself, just as we thought he could, but he’s still getting help when he needs it.